All The Single Ladies

Single Ladies: What are you doing? Literally, what are you doing at this moment, today, with your lives? Did you dread today… V-Day?  Are you like me thinking it’s like Friday the 13th in your life? Or are you too busy living your life to have even noticed it?

Here’s a suggestion, in no uncertain terms: Instead of thinking about a day that will come and go, LIVE YOUR LIFE. Live it to the fullest, now. Do the things you dream of doing “someday” TODAY. Travel. Write. Climb that mountain. Start that business. Conquer yourself. Get informed and make the world a better place by treating yourself better. Change your attitude toward Mother Nature. None of this can happen unless you make it happen.

In case you haven’t noticed (’cause you’ve been too busy wallowing over not having a valentine) what you, single lady, have right now is that very precious commodity that everyone is after: TIME. You have all your time to yourself to do what you will. So, again, I ask you, what are you doing today? What are you doing with your time on Earth?

If you’re not loving your life and are biting your fingers over a holiday, you’re not living your life today. Wake up, ladies. There is a life to be lived, a world to improve, a message to spread, an enterprise to nurture into fruition, an adventure to explore. It is called YOU. This is what love is all about: Love YOU first. Everyone says it and I’ll say it again: Fall in love with you, your thoughts, your decisions, your actions, your life.

Here is what you really want, when you say you want love:

You want to think, say and do all the things that are in alignment with who you truly are as a human being.

You want to BE YOURSELF 100% AND EXPRESS THAT 100%.

You want to, if you don’t already know, discover who you are. Question, research, try and err, create, erase, modify, tweak, add color, sing, dance, play – do what you need to do to find out what makes you tick. (By the way, if you don’t know who you are, how is anyone else supposed to know and love you?)

You want to stop making excuses and pointing fingers and take responsibility for your life. At any given moment, even in captivity and under duress, you have the choice of acting or reacting to a situation. If you don’t like how you act or how you react, then work to change that. But get on the horse and ride it – no more standing by and watching.

You want to start trusting yourself and your feelings. I think a lot of women dismiss their intuition as second-rate to a more masculine ideal, like logic. WRONG. Intuition is truth without the need for a logical explanation. It leads you directly to the truth, all at once. Logic, a left brain activity touted by a patriarchal society as the ultimate superior indicator of truth, is a process. And like every process, it can go wrong at any given step. You can start with a bad premise and take it, logically, to an end result. But , because you started off wrong, you will not get to the truth, even if the whole process is correct. Or, you can start with the right premise, and make a mistake somewhere in the logical steps, and you will end up, again, with a result that is not the truth (but it has logic). Trust your intuition. TRUST YOURSELVES. Trust that you are made the way you are for a reason, and that YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS ALREADY.

You want to start being honest with yourself and others. Oftentimes you know from the start that someone is not right for you, that the relationship you are about to enter is not going to work out. You see the red flags. Something doesn’t feel quite right. But, regardless, there you are, cozy and chummy. And then, a few months later, the inevitable breakup comes. And you act surprised. The only bad thing about this is that you could be insane for acting surprised at something you already knew was coming. Get real with yourself – and with that poor fellow who invests his feelings as much as you do and depends on your wise intuition to tell him the truth he cannot see – and act in accordance with what you truly think. If you don’t like something, don’t do it. If you don’t like someone, don’t date him just ’cause you’re lonely. If you see something, say what you see and what you think. Everyone will not like what you say, or maybe even who you are. But you’re not alive on this planet to please people. You’re here to be exactly what you were created to be: YOURSELF. I guarantee you someone will take note of that – and like it.

You want to see this time with yourself as a precious present, for the gift that it truly is, to get to know yourself, and to get to share that freely with the world.

I would venture to say that all the single ladies have a lot to do. Do what you want and will, and enjoy it. It’s not love until you’re enjoying it. Find that enjoyment, and you will find true love.

Happy Valentine’s Day! xoxo, ~vie

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~ by thetotaleffect on February 14, 2011.

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